What's the best kind of candy?

If we're talking about the non-chocolate genre, then hands down Shock Tarts is the best candy around. Closely followed by Sour-Patch Kids. At least, that's what I thought until tonight.

I grew up with a candy-aholic for a mother, so it's in the genes. Rides home from school customarily began with the offer of a piece of Bubble Yum. Bags of Jolly Ranchers could always be found in my mom's not-so-secret hiding places. And for Christmas, my mom's stocking is always filled with a variety of movie theatre box candies--Dots, Mike & Ikes, Good & Plenties, etc.

Halloween and Valentine's Day are the best holidays--candywise. What could beat Candy Corns and those little chalky hearts that say "I love you"...or "IM me"? You think I'm being ironic, but I'm not.

Tonight I discovered Nerds Rope, self-described as "Soft Gummy Rope Covered With Tiny Tangy Crunchy Nerds Candy." Why has no one ever thought of this before? Probably because it didn't make it among mainstream candy eaters, as evidenced by the fact that boxes of them can be found at the Food Pantry. Yes, that's right, my friend who feeds her foster kids Food Pantry fare picked up a whole box of Nerds Rope on her last visit. Because what the Food Pantry needs to be providing foster kids is Nerds Rope.

Right now, as I'm writing this, I'm on my third rope in two hours. I just can't get enough of this stuff.

Thoughts on a Lunar Eclipse

So apparently a lunar eclipse occurs when the earth gets directly in between the moon and the sun; the earth's shadow falls directly on the moon, obscuring the moon.

This got me to thinking about eclipses. What about a solar eclipse? Well, that's when the moon gets directly in between the earth and the sun, obscuring the sun.

So how come no one ever talks about stellar eclipses? Think about how many times the moon gets directly in between the earth and some star, and we no longer see the star. Does anyone ever notice? No. They don't.

What about equality of celestial bodies?

Today's Discoveries

I discovered two things today:

1. The booming voice lecturing in the classroom next to me belongs to one of the greatest philosophy professors of all time...I, a lowly TA, lecture next to a philosophy great.

2. When I was sixteen, I was the babysitter for one of my current students. Apparently we both look rather unlike we did ten years ago, because it's taken us three weeks to figure this out.

My Great American Novel

A friend has challenged me to write a great American novel, something to be found in the company of, say, Moby Dick or Huckleberry Finn. When I enquired as to the requisite features of said genre, I was told that it must encapsulate the yearnings, the desires, the angst of the typical modern American. So, I've decided my first step will be to learn a current American English dialect. I will standardize its spelling and grammar to provide my readers a bit of assistance in following the vast passages of incoherent dialog in my novel. My next step will be to befriend a particularly ornery child who speaks this dialect. I will then catalog his various schemes and mishaps as he travels down the river in search of his nemesis, a very large, very white fish--a fish about the size of Jonah's...fish. I think that should do it.

The Week of China...of Politics...of Poop...of C.S. Lewis

I've done nothing but talk to people. This entire week. As you can see from this post's title, this will be a four point essay on the Hot Topics of the week.

1. China--I attended a couple Chinese New Year celebrations this past week. I also discovered Sexy Beijing, a series on YouTube where a young American woman takes to the streets of Beijing to ask street vendors, students, and housewives questions such as, "I want to marry a Chinese man. Which is better? A northern man from Beijing or a southern man from Hong Kong?" Also, as my new officemate is obsessed with China, I've spent quite a bit of time this week discussing topics such as, "Who is your favorite Chinese political figure?" I've also learned that Confucius's teachings say nothing and yet they say everything. I still have no idea what that means.

2. Politics--Do you really think Barack could handle the presidency? How exactly does universal healthcare work again? Do you think Chelsea is cute?--was she maybe just in her Awkward Phase during Bill's presidency? Did you vote? Could our country really swallow having a president with a name like Huckabee?

3. Poop--This has been the topic of choice for dinnertime conversation at my dinner/Bible study for the past few weeks. When we're not sharing intimate BM stories, we're discussing items that people have been known to swallow--goldfish, Barbie heads, large quantities of hair. Some people look forward to Wednesday nights because they know they're going to get Miss Naomi's Famous Brownies, but I've started to go for the poop stories.

4. C.S. Lewis--I've been talking to one of the guys in my office a lot lately about religion and morality. I gave him Mere Christianity to read the other day. So far he's impressed with Lewis's explanation that all people, regardless of culture, have some sense of right and wrong. He concluded that must mean Lewis thinks we have morality and that's enough--no need for religion. I told him "Just wait."